The Reality


Expert Author Olachi Amah

Sometimes God take some people out of your life and instead of figuring out how to put them back, you need to trust God that he is taking you to another level. The wider the heart gets opened, the tighter the eyes get close; when the heart becomes a little tighter and the eyes get open, you will realize that you have been in a messed up emotional situation. They don't prepare you for marriage in school. So you can be a CEO in every other thing, know your Bible, quote the scriptures and still not know your partner. Two people from different background, they might look same but they still bring dynamism into the relationship culturally, economically, socially and otherwise. They make it difficult for the union to be as tight, cohesive and effective and it is supposed to be.

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness. Fellowship (fellows in a ship); they are not there to cruise; they have to row together in the same rhythm. And you cannot have the same rhythm if you are not hearing the same beat. Communication has to be paramount; you have to listen twice as much as you talk.

It is not easy when two people from different upbringing, different character and charisma come together to live under one unit. After the 30 minutes wedding ceremony, then you begin to think of how you will spend the next thirty years living up to the 30 minutes. You say "I Do" and you have done it; and in the next 30 years you begin to figure out what you did and who you did it with. Sometimes it gets to a point where you don't stay together because you are in love with each other, you stay together because you are in love with God and God is love. Sometimes it takes the heavenly father to make you go back home to her or him, shut your mouth and not say that thing that will shut it all down. So much pressure is mounted sometimes and it makes marriages explode like it has never exploded before. Some people have shot their wives, kids and finally shot themselves just because they could not cope anymore. The worst part of it is, people are no longer shocked when they see or hear such stories. "Anger rest in the bosom of fools" as it is written. It accumulates to a point where you don't know what you are angry about. Your decision can affect the ultimate plan of God for you, because he cannot twist your will to His. It is a choice you have to make to walk accordingly.

You will never sustain a life-long love without forgiveness. Just when you have it all planned out, how blissful you want it to be, he or she is going to blow it and say the wrong thing at the wrong time and not even know it is a wrong thing but keeps saying it over and over.

Waiting can be difficult sometimes because everyone wants everything now. You are not going to bond together the first 6 months. You might not get the cleaving right, even the first year. It is going to take some time. It is a process; you will go through some changes and adjustments before your father and mother gets out of your head and you start a whole new culture. A waiting man is a man who has not given up. There is a waiting woman, waiting on you to grow up. If you don't wait, the same circle keeps repeating, breaking up and meeting someone new.You have to fix what is wrong with you, because you are always happy at first until reality dawns on you. Many women make men wait longer than necessary because they are distracted in things and this makes him give up on waiting. It is one thing to wait on someone and the person is getting ready and another thing to wait and the person is oblivious to it. We make a lot of mistakes and decisions that take us to wrong direction. But thank God for second chances to make the right choices.


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